Limericks

Big Ben
I saw it was London calling
Big Ben was really falling
I thought it a joke
but then a bloke
on tv showed it failing

Snidely, Nell and Dudley
Snidley Whiplash has evil designs
he plots and his vile sneer shines
while tied to the track
or stretched on the rack
Nell pines, Dudley Dooright dines






A Tainted Approach

a tainted approach to conquest

led settlers to a hateful bloodfest

natives decried

then they died

the victors feted with zest

Something's...
something's under the bed
I fear it might be dead
it could revive
worse if it's alive
it fills my head with dread

 

Spring
spring is only days away
but the skies are cold and gray
he struggles with snow
yearns for green to mow
and parties at which to play

 



Pounds
My heart makes no sounds
My love knows no bounds
A day full of glee
I'm free to be me
As soon as I lose a few pounds!






Tallahassee
there was a lad from T'hassee
who fell in love with a lassie
they went on a trek
and had a bad wreck
now he must buy a new chassis







Another Hap
Hap was once thirty three
he had a cat named Lucy
she climbed in his lap
and took a long nap
Hap began to clap with glee




A Man Named Hap
there once was a man named Hap
who woke his girl from a nap
that's ok she said
I'll stay here in bed
Sam will step into the gap





Bellibone
he felt alright when prone
bending over forced a groan
he stood straight
even when he ate
or he felt a pain in his bellibone

 

 

Half Remembered Dream

sometimes I think you're a poem

especially when I'm feeling glum

a half remembered dream

with a well conjured theme

that I forget when I'm into the rum

 

 

Comedian

There once was a guy who was funny
he tried stand up for the army
His impromptu rant
Left onookers to chant
Get the guy off, he's barmy





Falling Leaves

There was a young man of the town
who liked when falling leaves turned brown
he loved to rake piles
they left him with smiles
till he found the body of the clown.


Pearl

there was a young lass named pearl
who told me that she was my girl
now I wander alone
in search of her clone
for Pearl was a girl all awhirl



he grew from a boy to a man
had surgery, now he's called fran
bought all new clothes
and colorful bows
the plan, to have sex in her van.



Example; what I'm striving for...

There was an Old Man of Nantucket                         
Who kept all his cash in a bucket.            
His daughter, called Nan,
Ran away with a man,
And as for the bucket, Nantucket.